


The Red Larch Irregulars

by Willowcat88



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Arson, Cultists, Cults, D&D Spoilers, Dwarves, Elementals, Elves, Fantasy, Fighting, Gen, Half-Elves, Magic, Novelisation Of Campaign, Pirates, Princes Of The Apocalypse spoilers, Shields, Swords, The DM Hates Us, but little does she know, but she doesnt feel like it because she just got her nails done she doesn't want to singe them off, edgy backstories, gold calls adam a pretty poster boy, gold's here for a good time not a long time, he has an Edgy Backstory, it follows that plot, puns, she'll fucking decimate your entire village, sorcery, to be fair so does she, too many times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-01 13:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17245025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowcat88/pseuds/Willowcat88
Summary: In a world of dungeons and also dragons, a bunch of adventurers come together to do a job. Which, as always, turns into a Ride or Die situation, complete with *two* party mascots, and they get caught up in something a bit big for them. They'll be fine though, right?(Or, in other words, I try and novelise the D&D campaign I'm playing through.  keep in mind that its still ongoing and we don't get the chance to play that often, and I suck at sticking to things.)





	1. Danger Mouse In The House

The half-elf hurries through the quiet town of Long Tomsk, cloak drawn tightly around her against the rain - odd for this late in spring, but then again, she’s in a new area - she doesn’t know the weather patterns, and won’t be sticking around long enough to learn them. Her golden eyes flash with relief and anticipation as she spots the inn, striding toward it, desperate to get out of the rain as she feels the white mouse in her pocket bury down further into the fabric to stay dry.

As she steps inside, she pulls down the hood of the cloak, revealing her long hair, pale and icy blue, still tucked between her pointed ears. She brushes her damp fringe out of her eyes as she walks up to the counter. She leans on it, casually, until the barkeep comes over, at which point she fishes a token out of her pocket with her pale, slender fingers. Tapping her foot nervously, she hands it over to the barkeep. He looks at it, turning it over and over in his work-weathered hands, before finally, he nods, ushering her through to a back room, the door to which she hadn’t noticed before.

 _I’m not the first here,_ she notices as she sits stiffly in a chair, surveying the room. Larry, the small white mouse, scampers onto her lap, squeaking as he curls up to take a nap. She distractedly scratches his head, too busy trying to size up the other humanoids in the room.

Sat in a chair by the lit fireplace is a halfling. She’s guessing that they’re a male, but she can barely tell - they’re covered in a large black coak, buckled just beneath his neck with a red gem. They’re picking their nails clean with a small dagger, and have an air about them that would make you consciously check that you still have your coin bag. She resolves to keep an eye on them, knowing that they’re probably quite dangerous - well, everyone in this  _room_ is dangerous, otherwise they wouldn’t be here, but still.

Over by the open window, there’s a female wood-elf with warm beige skin, wavy brown hair pulled back into a practical ponytail as she leans with her arm on the windowsill, clearly trying to breathe in the fresh air, as if she’d rather be anywhere but inside. There’s a quiver on her shoulder and a bow strapped to her back, and the half-elf thinks that they’re probably a ranger - they look a bit too weathered and wild to be a druid, but they’re definitely an outdoors adventurer type.

And then, in the corner, there’s a smiling, eastern, human woman, with light hair and armour. Her mace is propped against her chair, shining and clearly well looked after, and her armour is embellished with the symbol of Lathandar, God of Light - meaning that the woman is either a cleric or a paladin - The half-elf’s mind is leaning towards cleric, the woman has a sort of healer feel to her.

The messenger had told her that there would be _four_ other adventurers, meaning that the fifth one must have been running late. She resolves to settle into her chair more comfortably, relaxing her tense shoulders as she feeds Larry his favourite treat - cheesy crickets - from a pouch on her hip. She talks to him in Dragonic, so quiet that there’s no chance anyone else can hear her, whilst the mouse blinks up at her fondly.

Then the door is thrown open once more, and Larry squeaks in alarm, scampering up her arm to perch on her shoulder, safe amongst her hair. A tall, male, human strides in, sword hung on his hip and shield on the back, wearing a various degree of blue armour. She sighs, silently, never been one to get on with soldier types. And this one looks worse than normal - he looks like a good, law-abiding citizen, with blonde hair and a probably some important city’s poster-boy of good behaviour. She shook her head to clear it, reminding herself that she was here to get paid, and so she needed to put up with Goody Two-Shoes Soldier Boy over there until that happened.

The barkeep followed him in to inform the group that the only person they’re waiting on is their employer, someone named “Grungi Kettleminster”, before dipping his head and walking out the door, promising that they won’t be disturbed.

“So, we should do introductions, I think,” Poster Boy says, running a hand through his hair to push it back, “If we’re going to work together, we need to _know_ each other, right? I’ll go first,” he adds, barely allowing anyone else to get a word in edgeways. “I’m Adam Hunter - formerly served in the army of Waterdeep, but now I’m a travelling fighter.” The half-elf’s eyes furrowed in intrigue for a second, before they relaxed again, careful not to give anything away. _That’s interesting,_ she muses. _Maybe theres more to Blue Turtle Boy than there sees._

The other human, the smiling woman, pipes up next. “Hello! I’m Song Mei Wu, but you can call me Sunshine! I’m a cleric of Lathander, God of Light, as you may have guessed from my armour.” She gestures to the almost obnoxiously large sun-like emblem on her chest.

The halfling speaks up after Sunshine, pulling down “Garret. You don’t get to know my last name yet - I don’t know really know you, after all.” he says, tone neutral. _Hmph,_ the blue-haired half-elf thinks, _they’re a frosty one._

And then the wood-elf by the window speaks, still looking vaguely uncomfortable with the amount of people in the room. “Greetings. I’m Rowan, Rowan Silverbirch. Ranger, at your service.” she introduces formally, cheeks tinged with embarrasment.

The half-elf sighs - she guesses that its finallt her turn, seeing as she’s the only one left. “Hello. I’m Gold Moonbrook - force of chaos, half-elf, Sorceress. You name it, I’ve probably set it on fire at some point. Oh, and this is Larry, don’t underestimate him because he’s a mouse, he could take each and every one of you in a fight. He’s _dangerous,”_ she warns, only half joking.

And then the door opens, and a stern-looking dwarf walks in. “I’m Grungi Kettleminster,” he says gruffly, voice half muffled by his incredibly thick beard, “And I have a job for you.”


	2. CoUNtrY roAds, tAke mE hOMmEeee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowan doesn't like people, Gold doesn't like Adam (still), they realise that they're going to leave Garret somewhere at somepoint accidentally, Sunshine can drive (and Gold can call crossbow), and Larry is the epitome of happiness.

“I’m an artificer, and I’ve been commisioned to make a new set of ovens for an inn in the town of Red Larch, by the name of ‘The Swinging Sword’. Thing is, though, it’s a decent journey, and the roads aren’t always safe for anyone on their lonesome. So, I’m hiring you to protect me and my wares from bandits and the like. You’ll be paid, of course, and are welcome to anything any bandits leave behind after they’ve been,  _ dealt with,  _ shall we say,” Grungi explains. “I have two wagons, both with horse teams - the first has the equipment under a big tarp, and the second has a bunch of boxes and barrels.” He pauses a second, eyes flicking over each and every member of the group, before nodding his head decisively. “Yes. As long as one of you can drive a cart, you all seem quite suited to this job.”

“I can drive a wagon,” Sunshine offers, “So we could split the party three-two? Two to go with you, Grungi, and three, including me, in the other cart?”

“Sounds good,” Gold agrees, as Larry scampers back into her pocket, clutching the edge with his front paws and peeking out, curious as to what was happening.

“Actually, if you guys don’t mind, I’ll go up ahead, by foot,” Rowan speaks out an awkward spark in her eyes, “I’m more comfortable moving through the underbrush and I’ll be able to keep an eye out for threats better - if that’s okay with everyone else?” she asks, smiling nervously.

“Yeah, that should be fine, Rowan,” Adam smiles back at her. 

_ Since when do  _ you  _ make decisions for the entire group, Poster Boy?  _ Gold’s mind snarks, annoyed. She hates being told what to do, especially by goody-two-shoes soldier boys who have nothing better to do than ruin her day. 

Not wanting to make a scene, she settles for glaring at the back of his head for a few moments. Its not like she would’ve said anything different, she just would’ve like a  _ chance  _ to say it. Determined not to be a silent bystander, she speaks up.

“It would make sense, if the split is three-two, to have the three include you, Grungi, so that you have the most protection,” she points out. It  _ does  _ make a lot of sense, and Blue Turtle over there will probably say that he wants to go with Grungi, in that case, due to “protection”.

“In that case,” Adam says,”I’ll go upfront with Grungi - no offence to everyone else, but I feel pretty confident in my ability to protect him,”

Eh, close enough.

“Well, then,” Garret spoke up, startling Gold, who had practically forgotten that the halfling was there, because he was so quiet and blended into the shadows. It was almost frightening how good he was at being stealthy. “I’ll go up with you, Adam.” he states, clearly not wanting to explain.

“That puts me with Sunshine, then?” Gold questions, already knowing that it does. “Great!” she smiles at the cleric, thankful to be put with another magic user, even if magic wasn’t always a cleric’s first choice.

“Are we ready to set out, then?” she turns her question to the rest of the group. She doesn’t get much of a verbal response, mainly just a lot of nods and affirmative “mhm’s” from her fellow adventurers.

The group makes it’s way outside, to where two wagons, complete with horse teams, are parked. Grungi, swiftly followed by Adam and Garret, swings himself up and into the driver's seat of the the first, slightly fuller, wagon. Rowan, after a small conversation with Grungi about which way the group was heading, draws her bow and slinks off into the undergrowth by the side of the path. Gold steps up into the wagon, with a hand up from Sunshine.

She positions herself securely in the passenger seat, Larry scampering out of her pocket to sit on her lap, nose twitching as he takes in all the new sights and smells of this new wagon-top adventure. Gold makes sure to keep a firm hold on her pet, not wanting hawks or other birds of prey to snatch him out of her grasp. That would  _ not  _ be good. For her, for Larry, or for anyone else around her.

She tended to set things on fire when she was overly emotional.

As the cart's wheels began to turn and the horses began to walk, she decided that it was probably worth getting to know the cleric sat beside her.

“So you’re a cleric of Lathander? That sounds… fun,” Gold says, awkwardly. She’s never been that good at small talk.

Sunshine, focussing on following the cart in front of them at a steady pace, makes a noise of confirmation. As they turn onto what looks to be a long, straight-ish path, she starts talking to Gold.

“And you’re a sorceress, right? How’d that happen?” she asks, still wary of the half-elf, but willing to let her in if she plays her cards right.

“Oh, my grandpa made a deal with a dragon,” she says nonchalantly, picking her nails clean with a dagger. She stows the dagger safely back in her lap, and scritches the underneath of Larry’s chin with her freshly-cleaned nails, making him squeak and wriggle happily.

“Really? Huh. Why’d he do that?” Sunshine presses, clearly interested now.

“Well, he wasn’t the brightest candle in the room. In exchange for some of the dragons hoard, he promised his eldest grandchild. I didn’t get  _ raised  _ by the dragon, I was just named after the colour of its scales, and I channel it’s magic. I mean, it’s something I’m proud of, it would just be a better thing if I’d  _ chosen  _ it, you know?” she recounts the tale that her mother told her, even though her memory is foggy - it’s been years since she heard her mother’s voice, even longer since she told the tale.

“So it was a gold dragon?” Sunshine guesses, correctly, “And if you don’t mind me asking, you’re a half elf, right? What sort of elf was your..” she trails off realising that she doesn’t know the gender of Gold’s elven parent.

“Father was a moon-elf,” she replies curtly. Her parents, mainly her father, is a touchy subject, and she hopes that Sunshine will understand this by her tone.

“Ah. Right, okay.”

She’s got the message. 

“So, what does being a dragon sorceress entail? What are the “upsides” you mentioned?” Sunshine asks, changing the subject as fast as she can.

“Hmm. Well, I have a sort of, thin layer of translucent golden scales? Its one of the things that actually lets me be an adventurer without an immediate threat to my life - due to the fact that I can’t wear any armour, so the scales are one of my few melee defenses. Not that I let anyone close enough to me to engage in melee combat if i can help it. I’ve been a sorceress for quite a while, but this adventure is one of my first few, so my spells are kinda basic at the moment - studying is all well and good, but you need the practical experience to be able to use better, stronger, spells.” she explains to the cleric, as Larry fidgets on her lasp, looking like he’s trying to chase his own tail.

“That’s quite cool, in my opinion. Shame that you can’t wear armour though,” Sunshine responds, eyes going back to the road.

They travel comfortably in almost-silence, making the occasional bit of small-talk as Sunshine focuses on the road, that’s got a lot more twisty, and Gold soaks up the sunshine luxuriously, catching up on a short amount of sleep in the afternoon.

When the group makes camp for the night, taking turns to keep watch over the uneventful night, they sleep comfortably, hoping that the rest of the journey is as safe and uneventful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie im writing alot!!  
> that won't stay the same for that long, because school starts up again on Monday, but I'll try to upload, like, bi-weekly? at least? i dont know, life is unpredictable.  
> hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment! <3<3<3
> 
> Next time, they actually do a fight i swear you guys.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I'm taking this seriously, but the thing is:  
> \- I'm on my peRIoD aND iN sEriOus pAInNN  
> \- have spent the last 45 minutes jamming out to the TLT musical, screeching along to murderous hits such as Another Terrible Day and I'll Put You In Your Place in the shower, and replacing the chorus of The Campfire Song with "Oh, things couldn't be worse, when you're bleEding fRom yoUr utEruS"  
> \- and just generally screaming  
> \- and the party isn't always serious about the adventure, either
> 
> I know this is quite different to my normal sort of fic, but I really really r e a l l y hoped you enjoyed it?! please comment I want to know what! yOU! think!  
> all comments are always appreciated, but if you want to do like, an analytical review (on aNy of my works) or any (gentle, please) constructive criticism than yOu aRe mOre tHAn wElCome and I'll love you forever!
> 
> (Next up: The journey to Red Larch begins - after all, these ovens won't transport themselves - and maybe Gold will get a chance to do some Arson, you never know.)  
> <3<3<3


End file.
